Shim Machine

One day some people were really rude, and that rudeness inspired someone to create a shim machine. This was a really loud shim machine. The rude people could not hear themselves think. Revenge is a dish best served with ear protection.

Hog!

This completely fearless creature charged up the beach like some furry marine, and proceeded to prance along an open field in broad daylight. By the time the hog had reached the top of the park it had scared away all the geese, and was being watched by at least a dozen people. More rodents.

Attractive Object

The annual Spring Pointy Object Cleanup Karnival was assisted by this lovely contraption that is essentially a magnetic broom. Nails, pieces of wire, bottle caps were easily picked up by the handful without the back breaking bending that this usually requires. Sadly someone stole this borrowed device while we were working on another part of the yard. I would like to think that the magnet broom was drawn out onto the road, chasing some ancient metal car down the street. But alas some DB stole it

Zeller’s Targetted

Zellers has been bought by Target. This worries me because I have fallen in lunch with the gravy chicken sandwich. There is no better lunch than being by slow moving old people and gnoshing on gravy slathered chicken.

Dear Target, please don’t take away my chicken sandwich.

It is also important that we learn the proper pronunciation of the word Target when shopping.

Thanks to Michael Batts and comedy.com.

I Is Different Then Him

Dear pardons and waivers Canada it is not likely I will  even look at your site because you cannot even bother to proof read your advert. It is ‘different than’ not ‘different then.’ Lawyers or paralegals that lack this kind of attention to detail are not going to be looking after my pardon. Otherwise I agree that a guy with a tattooed face and a criminal record is no different than me at all.

While I am at it. Bucket list Hamilton should be called F*cket list Hamilton. None of the images ever relate to Hamilton, except for this picture of a carp from Cootes Paradise.