Category: Wordery

Dot You Ess

As soon as the .US domain suffix came available my brother and I started reserving domain names. Basically we reserved anything that made us (not .us) laugh. I received the below email just moments ago. Clearly it is from an agent of Satan.

Hello, my name is Jonathan Waltz from Flex Media Domains.
satansaves.us will be available for purchase in a few days.
Since you own satansave.us, I thought you might be interested in satansaves.us.
It is recommended to eliminate any confusion to satansave.us, to own both the singular/plural versions of the domain.

Your purchase will be a one time fee only... Etc. Etc.

The link sends one to a site where you can ‘bid’ on the domain name satansaves.us. If I had chosen to bid I would have bid  $666. This would be a winning bid for certain. I  perused my list of 1and1.com domains several other domains are waiting for Flex Media to pluralize them:

Killer Marketing Plan

It really isn’t their fault. The Russel Williams Restaurant has been serving up delicious breakfasts for many decades . Unfortunately the moniker for their shop is the same as that of the stalking fashion categorizing killer Colonel Willy.  In a typically Burlingtonian display of support for our troops the owners will be renaming the Colonel Russel Williams Restaurant to either the Paul Bernardo Bistro, or the Clifford Olson Cafe. In light of the upcoming name change the Russel Williams Restaurant will no longer be delivering their famous breakfasts directly into the bedrooms of their patrons, and they will abandon their tight staff uniform requirements.

More Sites Than An Ancient Mystic

I don’t remember electing Scott Mitchell to council, why does his opinion seem to matter in regards to where we spend OUR 160 million dollars? Recently our elected officials asked Hamilton staff to consider replacing a chunk of our local university’s innovation park with a pile of under used concrete that will be frequented by fans that piss on schools, and drug addled former coaches that grope 16 year old girls. To help us understand yet another site possibility I have turned to Google Maps again. Hope this helps. At least it is not shaped like a triangle, finally a polygon with more than three sides.

Looking more closely it is clear that evil is afoot in the whole stadium decision process. Using the point locations of the five proposed sites (airport, east mountain, confederation park, Aberdeen, and west harbour), surrounded by a circle encompassing the region of greater Hamilton a pentagram clearly appears. Directly in the center of the pentagram is the present location of Ivor Wynne Stadium. It is common knowledge of the powerful connection between the pentagram and that of the anagram. Anagrams for Ivor Wynne include such scary possibilities as:  renown ivy, nervy wino, oven in wry, very inn ow, and worst of all VERY WIN NO.

Welsh Warble

Fernag Feral of crested torp
doth carn along the felsing
torging bollops of sithing cred
Hath minions drabbed all cultish
and scavered at the plorth

Twisted unfurled knot
of malconvexed gist
maggles and twarts like
ferming dojjitery miths

scampelling twarfing shaffing garls
mag nigh agin that festive chank
she maybles and wallies and dies.

(poetry challenge: gaelic gibberish)

Complicated By Deconstruction

I was sent this poetry challenge:

A short  poem consisting of five anapestic lines. Lines 1, 2, and 5 have seven to ten syllables, rhyme and have the same verbal rhythm. The 3rd and 4th lines have five to seven syllables, rhyme and have the same rhythm. Your  words are titillating and shuttlecock. What the hell? It turns out that it is a limerick!

He was  young lad  of hardy stock
Who  sported a back wards shuttlecock
A  maid found this titillating
And  she skipped all the dating
And straddled him right there, on a rock

This  maiden she looks  scintillating
Was standing alone  contemplating
Then  along came a jock
With feathered  shuttlecock
(she found the sensation titillating)